REPUBLICAN DEFINITIONS -- JOKE
gun control
--The index finger, usually on the right hand. No other definitions or usage.
habeas corpus
--Archaic. (Lat.) Legal term no longer in use (See Patriot Act).
class warfare
--Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.
climate change
--The day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.
House of Representatives
--Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million.
water
--Arsenic storage device.
compassionate conservatism
--Poignant concern for the very wealthy.
neoconservatives
--Nerds with Napoleonic complexes.
9/11
--Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy. (see Terra, Terra, Terra)
No Child Left Behind
--1. v. There are always jobs in the military.
ownership society
--A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth.
Patriot Act
--The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first.
pro-life
--Valuing human life until birth.
alternative energy sources
--New locations to drill for gas and oil.
Senate
--Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million.
simplifiy
--To cut the taxes of Republican donors.
staying the course
--Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result.
voter fraud
--A significant minority turnout.
Wal-Mart
--The nation-state, future tense.
DeLay, Tom
--1. Past tense of De Lie 2. Patronage saint.
democracy
--So extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted.
Fox News
--fict. Faux news.
free markets
--Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.
God
--Senior presidential adviser.
growth
--1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich.
healthy forest
--No tree left behind.
honesty
--Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Freedom is on the march."
laziness
--When the poor are not working.
leisure time
--When the wealthy are not working.
liberal(s)
--Followers of the Anti-christ.
bankruptcy
--A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations
Cheney, Dick
--The greater of two evils.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS JOKE ???
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