CHEMICAL ANALYSIS -- JOKE
Element : Woman
Symbol : WO
Discoverer : Adam
Quantitative Analysis: Accepted at 36-28-36, though isotopes ranging from
25-10-20 to 60-55-60 have been identified
Occurance: Found wherever man is, but seldom in the highly reactive,
energetic singlet state. Surplus quantities in all urban areas
Physical Properties: Undergoes spontaneous dehydrolysis (weeps) at absolutely
nothing, and freezes at a moments notice. Totally
unpredictable. Melts when properly treated, very bitter
if not well used. Found in various states, ranging from
virgin metal to common ore. Non-magnetic but attracted
by coins & sports cars. In its natural shape the
specimen varys considerably, but it is often changed
artificially so well that the change is indiscernable
except to the experienced eye.
Chemical Properties: Has a great affinity for AU, AG, & C, especially in the
crystalline form. May give violent reaction if left
alone. Will absorb great amounts of food matter. Highly
desired reaction is initiated with various reagents such
as C(2)-H(5)-OH & sexy aftershave. An essential catalyst
is often required (must say that you love her at least 5
times daily). Reaction accelerates out of control when
in dark & all reaction conditions are suitable.
Extremely difficult to react if in the highly stable
pure form. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
The reaction is highly exothermic.
Storage: Best results are obtained between the ages of 18 & 25 years.
Uses: Highly ornamental. Uses as a tonic for low spirits. Used on lonely
nights as a heating agent (if properly prepared).
Tests: Pure specimens turn rosey tint if discovered in raw, natural state.
Turns green if placed beside a better specimen.
Caution: Most powerful reducing agent known to man (income & ego). Highly
explosive in inexperienced hands. Specimen must be used with great
care if experiments are to succeed. It is illegal to possess more
than one permanent specimen, though a certain amount of exchange is
permitted.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS JOKE ???
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