Clinton And The Devil Joke
Hillary was finishing up a day as Senator for New York when the Devil suddenly appeared in her office and made her an offer...
"I am here to offer you a deal," the Devil said. "I will give you unlimited wealth, even more power, and a media that will pander to your every whim. In return, all I ask for is your soul, the souls of every member of your family, and the souls of all your constituents."
Hillary pondered for a moment and then asked, "Unlimited wealth and power?"
"Absolutely unlimited," the Devil asserted.
"A pandering media?" she asked.
"They'll fall over themselves to support you, no matter what you say or do," the Devil assured.
"And you want my soul, my family's souls, and the souls of my constituents?" she asked.
"Yes. All of them," the Devil answered.
Hillary was deep in thought for a moment, then finally spoke:
"So...what's the catch?"
Young Married Girl Joke
A young girl gets married and a few days later her mother comes to visit. When she arrives, she is shocked to find her daughter standing naked at the front door. "What are you doing!" insists her mother. "Mom, it's my love dress! Don't you like it?" "I'll come back in a few weeks when the honeymoon is over," replies her mother, as she turns and leaves for the car.
A few weeks later, the mother arrives at her daughter's house once. Again, she is shocked when her naked daughter answers the door to greet her. "Now what are you doing?" "Mom, it's my love dress! It keeps the marriage spicy!" "I'll give you a few more weeks," replies her mother, as she turns and leaves for the car.
Later that night, the mother decides to try it for herself. When her husband arrives home, she greets him at the front door in the nude. "Honey, what are hell are you doing!" remarks the husband. "It's my love dress, dear! What do you think of it?" "Well, to be perfectly honest," replies her husband, "I think you should have ironed it first!"
Exhibitionist Joke
There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess who was collecting tickets. So when the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself. The stewardess said, "I'm sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not your stub."
Halloween Party Joke
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife goes up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had had. He said, "Oh the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"
Driving Under The Influence Joke
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath.
He said, 'I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.' She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, 'It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones.'
She replied, 'You mean it shows that, too?'
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS JOKE ???
--BACK--